Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize