if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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