I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize