Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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