I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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