If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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