I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize