In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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