her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize