I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize