pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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