dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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