guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
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Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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