I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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