No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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