Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize