I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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