Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize