Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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