Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Enjoy the penises
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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