u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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