I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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