This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your cock deserves a montage
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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