Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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