Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
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They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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