Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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