I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
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So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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