oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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