If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize