its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
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We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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