I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize