If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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