She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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