Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize