You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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