Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize