Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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