I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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