I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize