i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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