billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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