one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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