Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize