ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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