I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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