I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
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Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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