Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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