Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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