He felt like a one man threesome
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
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I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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