we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize